So ten years, it's been, since we tied the knot. Periodically throughout the day, Sara would ask, "so what were you doing right now ten years ago?". I suppose because of the nature of the day, I can actually remember the day pretty well - and my timing might be a little off, as well as the last hour or so at the hotel bar - but for the most part I can picture right where I was.
In retrospect, I guess there are a few things about the wedding that I would have done differently, and as long as we're being honest, there are more than a few things about the last ten years that I would have done differently. I would have gone to the pasta station, for one... and I'm certain I can fill in the gaps between then and now pretty easily.
I can't imagine ever changing the course of things, though. In the past ten years (and 18 that we've been together, as long as we're talking numbers) I've been through the best and the worst times of my life, spent moments speechless with joy, terrified, distraught, overwhelmed, and everything between. What defines those moments though, isn't just what was happening, but the fact that she has been next to me the whole time. Good and bad, without question or hesitation, when I expected her to be there, and even when I couldn't imagine she would be. So for those of you who are looking for a funny post, some pictures, or good Sunday morning read, I sincerely apologise for the next paragraph -
Twelve years ago or so, when we were living together and not yet engaged, my father in his not-so-subtle way of trying to get my ass in gear, asked me what our intentions were. At one point in our brief discussion on the matter, he said that the reason for getting married was to have the opportunity to say in front of all of your friends and family that you love the other person and intend to spend the rest of your life with them. A pretty romantic notion coming from my father, I thought. So in front of everyone I know, and everyone that lands on this page by hitting "Next Blog" at the top of the screen, I would just like to say to my wife - I adore you. I love the way your eyes look when you're tired, and the way your hand feels on top of mine. I love the way your hair looks like Tim Burton's when you wake up, the way you wipe chocolate off of Lily's face, the way your voice changes when you're on the phone, watching you cut the crusts off, the sound of your purse hitting the floor when you get home from work, the way your eyes wander off when you're ignoring me, and the way you tilt your head to the left while you're drying your hair. I love the trails from pretzel rods in our peanut butter jar, the fact that you've seen the movie "Major Payne" more than once, and the way you make every place we go feel like home.
So here we are, 18 years after we met, and ten years after we got married - and you know what? Maybe I should have had the pasta, but I wouldn't trade a moment with you for anything in the world.
Oh, and I forgot to get you an anniversary card...
Saturday, August 23, 2008
It has been a lifetime, it seems, since I've been on this page. We've been on vacation and back, done some construction, worked, rested, eaten, laughed, cried, and recovered since I've been here. Believe it or not, I've actually learned some things about myself - where I want to be, what my priorities are, what I can forgive people for, and what I can't. Strange summer, when all was said and done. But do you want to hear about it, or even care? No, probably not... and even if you do, well that's just tough cookies, cause I'm pressing on.
I was getting ready to blog and composing a little post in my head about the last month while looking through some recent pics, and decided I had to get something up... which means, a picture-rich post is in order. Funny thing I discovered... when I look through the camera I see the chaos, fear, hilarious absurdity, and frenetic pace of my days captured in little rectangles... and scrolling through my album leaves me either laughing out loud or wishing I was Chris McCandless with a better map. The first handful of pictures are just that - attitudes, backrubs, puddle jumping and mohawks.
Last, you'll see Lily through my father's camera. The girl he sees makes me catch my breath every time I look at her, and sends chills from my cheeks down to my fingertips like pinpricks that make me want to shake my hands till the feeling passes. So for today, at least, I'm going to try and see things through his lens as well as mine.