I know, it's been a while. Get off my back.
So before Sara started her new job, we went off to the shore for a few days... and for those of you who have been around the chillins, you know that four days and three nights in an apartment the size of a lobster trap could easily result in such a long blog that I could crash the network. So, I'll give you a few highlights to chew on.
The Beach -
The kids, surprise surprise, love the beach. Sam we already knew about, but Lily too... she had four molars coming in this weekend, but was pretty mellow on the beach. Actually, there isn't much more to say about her on the beach. For having all of her teeth come in, mellow is fantastic. Sara even taught her to say 'cool' which is hysterical, because every word at her age is accompanied by a huge sloppy grin. Sam on the other hand, is explosive... like a warm seltzer bottle that you're a little too anxious to open and you go a wee bit to far... pure energy. When we first get down to the beach he takes off his shoes, runs down to the water, and jumps straight up and down for eleven minutes. Not jumping around, mind you, but straight up and down like a jackhammer. Eleven minutes... I actually had to move him three feet to the left every minute or so out of fear that he would bore down to oil, which as you know, is a bear to clean up. We collected every shell in sight, and then moved on to rocks, throwing the unacceptable ones as far as we possibly could into the surf. All the while Sam's already light brown skin slowly turned a warm chestnut, and all of my exposed areas, which seem to have about as much melanin as a naked mole rat, crisped up to an angry pink. He gets it from Sara, of course, who could lie directly on the surface of the sun and get a nice even color.
The Room -
I have to say, perfect location. Right in the middle of the boardwalk, right on the beach, groovy. When we walked in on Thursday night it was pretty nice, but by the time Saturday rolled around, I felt like veal. We were in the house a bit too long in the morning, Sam started twitching; Lily paced from living room to kitchen, kitchen to living room mumbling 'cool' and 'moo' over and over again; and I lost the will to live. Turns out, the room was a little small.
The Food -
What is there to say really, we were at the jersey shore. Pizza, kettle corn, funnel cakes, a lobster, Stewart's dogs, soft pretzels, frozen custard, clams, cider doughnuts, and a crab cake that was actually as big as my face. The Rides -
The boy is fearless. Well, that's not completely true... occasionally he has a dream about witches or llamas that freaks him out, but in general, fearless. We started out slow, on the carousel, and quickly moved on to roller coasters, tilt-a-whirls, these weird spinning things that you lay down in - he was unstoppable. Since we were a bit off season we didn't have to wait in a single line, and on most of the rides the ride operator was just sitting around waiting for someone with tickets, so it was great. The kicker was the bumper cars, which he kept going towards and I kept distracting him from. Finally, since he was taller than the 'you must be at least this tall' sign, Sara kept bugging me to let him, and the 16 year old girl (Erin) who was manning the deserted bumper car area looked both responsible and bored, we let him go. Not to worry that it was deserted, Erin said that she would drive around and bump into him... so she put him in the car, securely fastened the safety strap underneath his arm, and showed him which pedal to push to drive forward. For the next 1.5 seconds, it was great. Big smile, he looked down at the pedal, jammed his foot down on it, sped forward about four feet and hit the guard rail, and slammed his face into the steering wheel. On the plus side, Erin seemed genuinely concerned/terrified/shocked and whisked him out of the car and into our arms in the blink of an eye. It must have reeeeeeeally hurt, because he cried for a good solid thirty seconds before saying anything, and another thirty seconds before he was able to blubber out that we should go on something safer, like Nascar ride which only whips you around at a timid 113 miles per hour. As we walked away, Erin still looked flustered, and I got the distinct impression that late into August she'll still be getting high under
The Engourginator after hours with Josh (who has been wanting to hook up with her since Evan's thing under the boardwalk after Kate's party) and talking about the faceplant kid. All in all, it was great. I hate the driving, spending the money, living in a closet, and finding sand in every imaginable place, but it was great. Plus, any time I was feeling a little claustrophobic, Sam would sing me his version of the Jungle Book song and make it all better...
Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your stripes
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature's recipes
That brings the bare necessities of life
yeah, man...
