Sunday, September 27, 2009


Ok, I know some of you have seen this already, but I just felt like spreading it around. Man, that was delicious...

Monday, September 21, 2009

Generic Post #103

Oh, it's been so long since I've written. So much has happened, I don't know where to start.
The kids are great, and impress me with everything they do. They're both playing soccer, doing well in school, are exceptionally funny and polite, and are collaborating on an experimental vaccine for malaria the can be made from discarded coffee grounds. Sam is in first grade, so he's reading on a pretty advanced level, using computers and doing math in class, and fills in his afternoons running a charity organization he's started which trains squirrels how to help the elderly open child-proof lids on prescription bottles. Lily is in Pre-K, so she's just getting a handle on writing the alphabet and is still only a stand-in at the Bolshoi Ballet.
My wife is still crazy and has been working ridiculous hours this month, so we haven't seen her all that much. It's a pretty difficult life around here when she's gone for weeks at a time. For one, I feel bad that she's stretched to her limit, and that the kids miss her when she isn't here. Plus, being a single parent is pretty freaking hard. A few days at a time is a breeze, but after a few weeks things really start to falls through the cracks, and I quickly got lost in a sea of laundry and school forms. Not to mention the fact that she is the morning person in our relationship, and having to be the morning person and then not being able to fall asleep at a reasonable hour really made me wish I had a meth lab in the back yard just to get me over the hump.
On top of that, busy days at work for me inevitably lead to the carpal tunnel thing, and it's been hard to do anything, much less come home and type. Back in the day when I first heard of carpal tunnel I thought it was office workers complaining because they were a bunch of pansies... unfortunately, I was wrong about that. I can usually fend off the onset of things by wearing my wrist braces and icing my arms down, but every once in a while it hits me anyway. For those of you who are lucky enough to have avoided it, every heartbeat makes your arms burn from the first joint in your thumbs all the way up to the back of your neck, and there's no way of forgetting about it because it's there, day and night. Unless, of course, you manage to burn the side of your face with a big wave of bacon grease - which I did - and then it's hard to focus on your arm pains. Plus, I look like an idiot who lost a monkey knife fight. And while I'm on the subject, if you haven't been in a monkey knife fight, I would avoid those too. They're smart, and don't have any qualms about going for your crotch or throwing poo as a distraction.
So there you go, you're all up to date. I'm off to ice things down once again, and will fill you in as soon as I can type without the assistance of a bottle of Advil.
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